Stateside

I never thought I would be back in the United States right now.
Peru was the adventure of a lifetime and I know that it is not over, I will return one day soon and embrace the ones I love dearly. Those who have forever changed my life and put imprints on my very heart.
The kids at Casa de Paz are like a part of me. I hate the fact that when I return, some of them could be gone forever. I hate that I cannot talk to them on a daily basis and love on them the way that I used too.
And what I hate most is that I should have loved on them more when I was in Peru.
There was so much more that I could have done that I did not and that saddens my heart.
It is so hard to be a missionary.
It is so hard to live a life when so many people put such huge expectations for you that you just feel like you cannot fill.
I hate that people gossip and spread rumors that could totally shatter your reputation.
Everything you built could be gone in one day, one moment.
We should to sacrifice certain things in life and I never wanted to sacrifice the kids.
I would rather sacrifice myself.
Being a House Mother was one of the hardest things I ever did. So physically draining and emotionally rough. But those kids needed someone to take care of them and to love on them and so Heather and I did that to the best of our abilities. We have never been mothers before so we took on a great challenge but I know neither of us would ever had said no, because we wanted those kids in good hands.
The House Mothers that are there now are such amazing women. Women of sacrifice. Women of selfless faith.
The Director of the orphanage is a true blessing. She loves those kids. Truly loves them.
Each one of those kids have unique personalities, their own quirks. They are each affected differently. They are each special to me and to the Lord.
More to come..

Life as we know it

So much has happened and yet I feel as though I have nothing to say.
This month has been a great month, challenging spiritually but God has been faithful in His promises and has really got me trusting His every Word.
I am leaving Peru at the end of July.
I am most likely pursuing my Masters in Business.
If I have learned one thing being here, it is that I need to know how to run a business if I am ever going to have my own orphanage. I need to be knowledgeable in what I am doing.
I am the last person that ever thought I would return to school but it is a wise decision.
I also have to begin paying my loans. They told me December but they lied.
So I am returning to work and do school and look for a job that will give me some sort of experience in the field I am looking to be in.
As you may have also noticed on facebook, I have boyfriend.
We met here last year and only a few months ago did I share the same feelings he had for me. I really feel like God has orchestrated it and with the blessings of Fred and Peggy, we are pursuing a relationship. There are difficulties because of the cultural differences but what I love most is the friendship we have built. It helps us to be honest with each other about things and I am trusting the relationship in God's hands.
I am saddened to leave the kids but I know I will return to Peru. My time is not done here, this season is just coming to an end and I am going to get experience elsewhere for a while.
I am excited to return to my family and my friends. I hope I take what I have learned here and live a different life when I return home.
I never want to be the same as I once was, only to move forward in this journey of life and to live a life for Christ.

Wait

I find myself immersed in the lines scribbled onto a paper, printed into a novel, spoken by the brokenhearted. I feel myself being silenced, as though I am like Ariel who gives her voice to Ursula to find love with Prince Eric. I walk the streets and live my life feeling as though I am in a haze, drained and tired, super sensitive and missing my loved ones and the fact that I cannot call them anytime I want or see them more than I want, ha ha.
My life is written into poetry and lived out by many; it is remembered by few and forgotten by many.
My hearts cry is lying within the lines of songs rapped out for anyone to hear but no one sees. The cry is faint but the longing is real and true and rings clearer than a blue sky without clouds.
Life is a mystery and confusing and difficult and complicated.
But the constant is Jesus. God, my Father, is forever faithful and forever here. He is my strength in weakness and my portion. He fills me up when I feel like I cannot do it anymore. He is my forever Provider, Sustainer, Savior, Redeemer, Best Friend, and He sees me when no one else can and He sees me how no one else can see me. He is my Knight in Shining Armor. He is the One and only and I must choose to live that truth out on a daily basis.
It is so hard to live life as a missionary.
The expectations and standards are so high and challenging.
But all you can do is live and learn, all for Christ and so others may live!

mayo

Although a million things seemed to happen in May, I only blogged 3 times.
Eventually I will feel the need to write my life into the space of this blog
For now, I will leave you with some random Peruvian things.
1. Everyone walks really slow.
2. Everyone drives really fast.
3. The beach is in walking distance.
4. Chicken and rice are the staple foods.
5. Lucuma and Princesa ice cream are amazing!
6. Papas Fritas (french fries) in Peru are the best!
7. There are like 2 stop lights in Pacasmayo.
8. I get honked, whistled, and howled at over 5 times a day if I go outside.
9. There are a lot of gangs here.
10. The only things to really do in the evenings is hang out on the beach.
11. Be careful for muggers.
12. Drinking cokes and water warm is normal.
13. Hanging your clothes to dry is where it's at.
14. Rats and mice are very common.
15. Always check your shoes for scorpions.
16. Futbol games everyday.
17. The process for Everything is more difficult.
18. Cold showers everyday.
19. Finding substitute ingredients is key.
20. Dogs are everywhere.

I experienced my first Earthquake!

Heather and I were sitting on our beds and we felt shaking and I did not think anything of it at first and Heather goes, We're having an earthquake! It was just a slight shake but a very noticeable one. So I called Kevin and the first thing he says is, yeah I felt that too! ha ha! It was far away from here so we just felt a tiny bit of what it was but here's a report on it that we found online today...


A 6.0 Richter scale rattled Northern Peru early today (May 18), at 11:15 p.m. Local Time (4:00 a.m. GMT), according to the Geophysics Institute of Peru.

The epicenter was located at 219 km of depth and 46 away from Bagua Grande, in Amazonas region.

The earthquake was felt in Chachapoyas, Moyobamba, Rioja, Cajamarca, and even in Trujillo, a Northern Coast city located 270 away, reported local media, but no victims have been reported yet.

However, there were reports of some power outages and some adobe (traditional mud-made bricks) houses may have been damaged.

The United States Geological Survey reported an official magnitude of 6 Richter scale and clarifies that it has not issued any tsunami warning.

Life changes rapidly

Sunday was Mothers Day! Happy Mothers Day to all! Heather and I bought gifts for all the moms here at the orphanage and gave them gifts after the service on Sunday. There was also a Mothers Day service on Friday put on by the kids and Heather and I helped with the 1-3rd grade and the 6-8th grade. It was hectic but good times. And then Sunday I celebrated my birthday with Brian, Daniel, Felix, and Heather! They surprised me with a cake and we all hungout. And then Monday was my 24th Birthday. I went in town and called people so they could wish me a happy birthday, ha ha! Heather surprised me with a cake and we had dinner at the pizza place with some of the missionaries from the orphanage. Then we played pool with some people.
We have a lot of new volunteers coming in here in these next weeks to come and we are all excited about some new people around here, ha ha!

Cinco de Mayo

I graduated from college on Saturday, May 1st, 2010 at 1 p.m. central time.
And although I was not there to walk across the stage, I was able to watch a live webcast of it, to see my friends walk across the stage and to celebrate with them from afar! And it was an honor. The speaker was amazing and had so much wisdom to offer and to share. I got a little teary-eyed because I was not there but I am where I am supposed to be so it is okay.
In honor of my graduation, Heather got a mock graduation together with the other volunteers at the Mexican restaurant and they celebrated my graduation with me. They gave me graduation gifts and they made sure I was the center of attention and it was a great blessing to share this time with them. I was very appreciative all they did for me.
Just been doing my normal routine these days. And enjoying my time with the kids, as always. They are so precious. I took some photos of the kids on the newly painted playground so I will get the pictures up as soon as possible.
Friday is the Mother's Day celebration. Heather and I are preparing gifts for the mothers here at the orphanage.
And Sunday is Mother's Day and although I hate to not be in the States to give gifts to my mothers and my sister who is a mother, I am grateful to share this mother's day with these amazing mothers here at the orphanage who are not with their children on this special occasion. And then we are going to go to Trujillo to begin the celebration of my 24th birthday which is on Monday.
I called Irving yesterday because it was his birthday and it was so great to hear his voice and to talk with Tiffany. Last year I got to take him out to dinner for his birthday but this year not so much. He was grateful for the surprise phone call though so I am glad for that. I sure do miss my family and friends, not gonna lie.
But that is part of being a missionary. And I would not have it any other way right now.
I have some decisions to be made here lately and I ask for prayers that God's hand would be upon everything and that everyone would see with Christ's eyes, that wisdom would be used and guidance would be received and that all would go according to God's perfect plan.
Thank you for your love and support.

Mix it!

Okay so if you want to get an idea of how things are here in Peru, you should just rent the musical West Side Story and you will get a good idea of my and Heather's lives in Peru. I mean minus the singing and all, it is pretty accurate.
The life in Peru is definitely interesting and never really dull.
Last night we realized that we have had too much of a regular schedule when it comes to being in the city. But ironically we changed our schedule up this week so it will all work out.
But when a moto driver that you have never seen (at least that we do not recognize) drops you off at the orphanage and says, are you going for a walk tonight? You know that there is a problem. Because we normally go to the beach every night. But as of Tuesday we stopped that for a while because, well, because we needed to change things up a bit.
But I love sitting on the beach at night, listening to the sounds of the waves crashing into the shore. I love having the opportunity to be walking distance from a beach and to just sit or walk and hear the beautiful sounds of God's creation.
Princessa started giving birth to her puppies from Blackie a few days ago but so far all 5 have died and we think there is one more and we are hoping that it will live. But we do not know if it will.
Danilo had to go to the hospital because of problems breathing. They think it was an allergic reaction to something he put in his mouth or ate. But he is fine and back from the hospital being his normal self.
Still no internet in our house.
Tonight is missionary night.
Not a whole lot to say. Just wanted to tell you about watching West Side Story mainly.

Gossip is not cool. I know we all struggle with it at times, with certain things or people. But things that could change a person's entire reputation or make them look as though they are a completely different person, is just wrong. Especially when it is not true. I think all gossip is wrong but if it is the truth, then maybe it is not so bad in some ways, but when it is the farthest thing from the truth, that makes it twenty times worse.
Thank God though that people should know a person's character well enough to know the truth from a lie. Or that they respect a person well enough to actually ask them, rather than assume the gossip to be valid. A person should always check if the gossip is truth before believing it or before passing it onto another person.
Things have been good, busy with the kids and watching One Tree Hill and sleeping and getting better from being sick and going to the beach and walking on the boardwalk, watching and playing soccer, and going to church.
We bought Life in Trujillo and so we played that with the girls. And we made chocolate/vanilla/peanut butter milk shakes with the girls too. I think this week we are going to make biscuits, muffins, or pancakes with the girls.
My college graduation is May 1st and I have to be honest with you, I am a little sad that I will not be there to walk across the stage and to see some of those people for the last time or for a long time. A door is closing in my life and it is weird to not be there for it, to not be handed the fake degree when you walk across the stage. ha ha. And to not have your family there cheering you on and celebrating with you afterwards.
I think we are going to go out to dinner to celebrate and maybe Heather, Kat, and I will get a hotel room and watch movies into all hours of the night. I do not know. There really is no way to celebrate here, not the way I would have liked to celebrate at least.
And then 9 short days later is my 24th birthday. And although it is just another year to celebrate, and I wish my family was with me to celebrate. I mean I have family here now but you all know what I mean.
Life is a roller coaster here at times but God is faithful and I know He is teaching me so much and pushing me in so many ways. I just hope that He is using me more than I feel like He is.

Confessions of the heart

Coming to Peru was a dream come true. In fact, I did not even imagine it possible. I mean I went to college and studied, but not to the best of my ability. And I told Jesus I wanted to travel the world, to be used by Him how He saw fit. And He put it on my heart to someday have my own orphanage. He is the one with the big dreams. I am just the person acting out His desires. And it is tremendously difficult. To sacrifice what one would call a normal life. And I find myself in Peru, taking back my sacrifice and living by the flesh. Being in another country, trying to be a missionary, is just as difficult as being in the United States, going to college, being a mother, working at a grocery store, etc, and trying to live and fulfill the dream that God placed in one’s heart. It is just as difficult because there are temptations everywhere. And there is complacency everywhere. And there are fears and failures and pasts everywhere. One would think that you could start fresh in another country. And in some ways you can. You can have the people call you by whatever name you want. And they do not know any of your past failures or mistakes. But what you do not really get to start fresh on is your character. Who you are will travel with you wherever you go. Whether you are a nice person or a mean person or a judgmental person or a kindhearted person. Yes, we always have the opportunity to grow and change and become a better person but will be take the challenge when we are faced with new things and new places. Daily I have to decide if I will allow for Peru to just become home, normal for me. And I try to not allow it become normal. Home, yes, in many ways I never felt more at home. But I do not want to become complacent. I do not want to just be another person in Peru. I want to be a world changer. Not because it will make me feel accomplished or worthy of God’s love. I just want this because I know no other way to bring glory to His name. I know no other way than to love with Christ-like love. I know no other way than to help bring healing and take away the pain than to live like Christ would live. And yet, I am nowhere near how Jesus must’ve been on this earth. I am selfish and rude and disrespectful and dishonest and manipulative and savage. I do not love always in all situations. I judge little things and do not want others to judge me. I do not give all my time and effort to helping, caring, and loving. And I think that the time and effort I do give is something to behold. When really it is not. I could be doing so much more. And I want too. I want to make a change and I am here to say that I am. It will not be easy and it will not be over night. I will not be able to make all the changes immediately and I will struggle with some things. But I am here to say that I am going to start today to live a better life here, not for myself, but for the people here that I came to serve for Christ. The people that are worthy of God’s love.

One Tree Hill

So all this time with the 9 4-5 year olds has been great but exhausting. And it is a challenge for me, not gonna lie. I love little kids, really I do. I mean I have the greatest nieces and nephews in all the world.
But for me, I am better with older kids. Especially when it comes to language barriers. So it is definitely a stretch but that is definitely not a bad thing at all. And these kids are precious and adorable and need all the love and affection in the world that they can be given.
And man oh man, times with Danilo are great. But they are adventures in themselves. We went to the playground outside of the orphanage, with Kat, and it went well, other than him wanting to pee out in the open for all the other kids to see. And then the next day we went to the other playground by the beach but he did not like it as much. Loves the moto rides. And walking along the beach but not near the water. We got ice cream and went and sat for a long while in the shade. And then yesterday we went and got something to drink along the beach, went to the playground by the beach, went up on top of the hotel on the beach and looked at the view and went in the elevator (Which he was amazed by) and then took a moto back. He loves those motos. ha ha. Anyway he started acting up yesterday so today we did not take him out and that was way more difficult than when we actually take him out. So yeah.
Sunday was our day off and we were pretty much at the beach the entire day, minus church, lunch and dinner. ha ha.
Heather and I have been watching One Tree Hill. We started about half way into Season 4 and we are on Season 5 now. We are trying to read a lot too lately. She reads more than I do. But anyway, we are moving into another house on the compound sometime within the next week. And my internet should be fixed within the week so I can use skype again. Praise God.
Please keep me and Heather in your prayers. God is definitely working in our hearts and distractions are near and far in between. But we are pressing forward and being there for one another. God sure is faithful.
Sending my love to everyone.

Where You Go I Go

It's been a while. Sorry about that. When you really do not have good internet, it is like you do not have internet at all.
Plus, there for a while I was pretty busy, even though I was not with the kids much.
Last week was busy trying to get into the school some, get around the kids some, and then hanging out with people. Easter did not feel like it was Easter because nothing special happened here. It was just another day here in Peru. It was weird, not going to lie. And it made me miss my family not to be with them during Easter weekend.
I feel like God is trying to teach me how to see myself the way He sees me. To see how much He loves me.
Because I get hit on by all these people, and creepers, and they make me feel like a piece of meat, an object, nothing beautiful and lovely. Nothing that I want but that I have settled for in the past. And not anymore.
So it is somewhat ironic that God is trying to teach me that.
Because as my sister said, maybe if I had guys treating me the way I deserve to be treated, that I would not be able to see how much the Father loves me and how beautiful He sees me because I would be finding my satisfaction in the words and actions of people, rather than finding it from God.
So although I do not enjoy the attractions of men here, I need to not be stubborn and fighting the Lord in this. I want so desperately to know the depth of His love and how He sees me. So I need to let Him in and stop running.
We got a new schedule on Tuesday and started in on it on Wednesday.
We will be busy again, finally after almost 3 weeks of nothing but trouble, ha ha.
From 8-9 in the morning we play with the 4 and under kids outside.
From 3-4:30 we play with Danilo only. He is the one with disabilities. So we go outside of the orphanage with him.
From 5:30-6:45 we play with the older kids who have no homework.
And then optionally we can spend time with the kids in their houses from 7:30-9:15.
Monday and Friday we have activities with the smaller kids from 10:30-12.
And one day a week we are going to teach the preschoolers english for 30 minutes.
And then Saturday we have activities in the morning with the the younger kids. And in the early evening we have activities with the older kids, such as me cooking in the kitchen with the girls.
And Sunday is our day off.
On Thursdays we will help at school in Mike's class from 10:40-12
And we might get in the classes of Steve as well some days.

"Where you go I go
What you say I say
What you pray I pray

Jesus only did, What he saw you do
He would only say, What he heard you speak
He would only move, When he felt you lead
Following your heart, Following your spirit

How could I expect to walk without you
When every move that Jesus made was in surrender
I would not begin to live without you
For you alone are worthy you are always good"
--Where You Go I Go by Kim Walker

My brother wrote this for me....

To whom it may concern, and anyone that feels led to help out our foreign missionaries,

Hello, my name is Barry Rizzolla, I am a U.S. Army soldier currently serving my second tour in Iraq. I have been in the Army now for ten years and plan on doing at least twenty years of service for our great nation. That being said, the things that make our nation great are the people that live there and the people that fight to keep our freedom and principles alive not only overseas but also in own cities and states. I am writing this letter in regard to my younger sister who is a foreign missionary currently in Peru for one year starting in January of this year. She is there sacrificing herself without pay to do what she was called and loves to do, Gods will.
Rita Lee Lawrence is twenty-three years old and graduated last year from Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She is in Peru now spreading the Gospel to children and wants to continue doing this as her career but has ran into financial difficulties in doing so. Although Oral Roberts University is one of the most prestigious schools to attend as a missions major it’s one of the most expensive schools to attend as well. Rita is faced with right under $127,000 in student loans and has to return to the states in January 2011 to start paying them and doesn’t know what to do for work because her major puts her working out of the country for almost next to nothing as a salary or working for a non-profit organization stateside also not making a decent salary. Although Rita has been offered to teach in schools in both, China and Korea, she would like to keep working with the younger generation of kids around the world if this is possible because she feels it would make a greater impact on their lives. Rita is an extremely strong willed person and will do what it takes to continue doing these missions, this is a conversation I had with her just a few hours ago about this issue that I want to let you read for yourself:
[2:53:49 PM] Barry Rizzolla: what kind of job do you want?
[2:53:59 PM] Rita Lee: this is what i want to do with the rest of my life.
[2:54:08 PM] Rita Lee: i don't know.
[2:54:24 PM] Rita Lee: i might try finding a teaching job in china or korea. teaching english.
[2:54:25 PM] Rita Lee: they pay.
[2:54:48 PM] Rita Lee: i mean i want to open my own orphanage someday but i need to pay my loans off somehow too.
[3:02:11 PM] Barry Rizzolla: what are you qualified to do in the states?
[3:02:35 PM] Barry Rizzolla: and how much are your payments monthly for your loans?
[3:02:56 PM] Rita Lee: I will officially have an undergrad degree in May.
[3:03:31 PM] Rita Lee: So I do not know what that qualifies me as. My degree is Theology: Missions. So if I stay with my field, I could get a job with a church or some sort of nonprofit organization.
[3:03:35 PM] Rita Lee: I just do not know how much that will pay.
[3:03:43 PM] Rita Lee: My loans will be at least 1000 dollars a month.
[3:03:53 PM] Barry Rizzolla: wow!!!
[3:04:30 PM] Rita Lee: yeah a lot of money.
[3:04:38 PM] Barry Rizzolla: well if i graduate anytime soon and start in my career i'll help you out!
[3:04:58 PM] Rita Lee: thanks. I know it is scary to think about.
[3:05:13 PM] Rita Lee: But at the same time I know that God is going to take care of me no matter what.
[3:05:36 PM] Rita Lee: I can get a good teaching job in China or Korea that will pay for me to fly there, give me a place to stay and pay me a normal teaching salary. All I would have to pay for is my food.
[3:06:18 PM] Rita Lee: but I really do not want to go to China or Korea but I will do what I have to do. I prefer to be in another country or working with some sort of missions organization in the states or inner city or something. something with kids.
[3:08:00 PM] Barry Rizzolla: don't wish rita your doing a great thing and like you said God will provide a way... I'm going to talk to a few people and put some info out there on you if you don't mind because your sacrificing yourself for a greater good and someone might help you out
[3:08:38 PM] Rita Lee: thanks Barry. I will take any help I can get. I know God will provide. He called me, I listened, He's got the rest covered. I don't know how but I trust that it will all work out!
[3:09:59 PM] Barry Rizzolla: i like your attitude rita... your a great sister and an awesome person! i love you so much just keep this determination and willpower up and your going to do great things!!!
[3:11:25 PM] Barry Rizzolla: I'm going to log on to several church websites and write an article about what your doing your situation and what you want to keep doing if you dont mind!?
[3:11:54 PM] Rita Lee: Thanks Barry! You're a pretty great brother and I am very proud of you for the things you are doing for our country. It is a great sacrifice what you are doing! I love you so much too!
[3:12:02 PM] Rita Lee: no, i do not mind. I appreciate it a lot.
[3:12:10 PM] Barry Rizzolla: I'm going to put your facebook name on there also as a point of contact also if thats ok
[3:13:37 PM] Barry Rizzolla: I love what i do also rita and its the army that got me to where i am today both mentally and physically as well as opening doors for a career so i guess i have a love hate relationship with the army haha
[3:13:40 PM] Rita Lee: yeah that is fine.
[3:14:03 PM] Rita Lee: do you need my email law40009@oru.edu or just my name for facebook?
[3:14:22 PM] Rita Lee: ha ha yeah i can understand you having a love hate relationship with the army.
[3:14:26 PM] Barry Rizzolla: awesome your email would be better!
[3:15:06 PM] Rita Lee: my actual email is ritaleelovesyou@yahoo.com but the one above is my facebook email to be able to find me.
[3:15:08 PM] Rita Lee: so either one.
[3:15:56 PM] Barry Rizzolla: I'm going to do this tonight and get this out there, maybe God will provide a complete payout for you and you can keep doing His work!
[3:16:51 PM] Rita Lee: That's what I am believing for.
[3:17:07 PM] Barry Rizzolla: I'll put both on there... can you check both?
[3:17:39 PM] Rita Lee: I keep telling people that. I mean total it would be 120,000 (give or take some) which in my head is absurd but I know there are people out there that could help. I know it is possible.
[3:19:04 PM] Barry Rizzolla: well I'm going to put 120,000 in the letter, is that exactly what you owe or is it more?
[3:19:25 PM] Rita Lee: it is a little more but I do not know the exact amount.
[3:19:33 PM] Rita Lee: i can find out.
[3:20:51 PM] Barry Rizzolla: how soon can you get me that?
[3:21:58 PM] Rita Lee: i can try and find it right now. let me log into my oru account and see if i can pull it up.
[3:22:06 PM] Barry Rizzolla: ok
[3:24:27 PM] Rita Lee: I believe this is the total amount, assuming they do not try and charge me anything extra within this last month...$126,843.66
[3:27:09 PM] Barry Rizzolla: awesome! I'm going to write something for you now so I will talk to ya later rit... I love you and I will email you a copy of the letter when I'm done! :)
[3:29:39 PM] Rita Lee: Sounds great. Thanks so much! I love you! Take care of yourself. Talk to you soon :)
So now that you know what this is all about maybe God has placed it in your heart to help her out, I would pay it all for her if I could but I’m currently a senior in college as an industrial technology major and can’t afford that on the Army salary if you know what I mean. Anything that anyone could help with would be so greatly appreciated by both Rita, myself, our family, and most important our Lord and Savior because it would enable her to not only keep doing God’s will but also be close to the people she loves most, her family. I personally thank anyone for taking the time to read this letter and pray that God blesses you for all that you do.
Actual student loan debt for Rita Lee Lawrence: $126,843.66
Rita’s email contact: law40009@oru.edu or ritaleelovesyou@yahoo.com
My email contact: barry.rizzolla@yahoo.com or barry.rizzolla@us.army.mil

May God Bless You,
Barry Rizzolla
U.S. Army

Your Life is a Symphony

So this past week life has been very different than I expected it ever to become here.
Time without the kids and time to do whatever. And although we've had fun, I've missed the kids more everyday.
I came here for them. So a day off a week is plenty. I like being surrounded by them almost all day.
And for a while there I felt like I would have to start all over with relationships because some of them were not being very nice to me but apparently it is because they were jealous that I was spending so much time with Heather. So Maribel and I explained that I have been with Heather through her recovery because she needed someone to be taking care of her and making sure she did not push it too much. So things are better now.
I am going to be in school again today for the first time since the Canadians were here. That's a long time.
Maribel and Kevin are putting together a weekly schedule of activities for me and Heather to do with the kids on the weekends. So I think during the week days I am just going to have to immerse myself with the kids and play with them outside and such.
Kat and I are starting to run on the beach because she is running the marathon in July and I am debating entering to do the 5K.
Heather will be walking for now, she has another 2 1/2 weeks before we'll allow her to run. ha ha.
And I have had some interesting cultural experiences as of late. Went to a Quinceanera for someone not in the orphanage and theirs was much more different than the ones we do for the girls at the orphanage.
I have had a lot of time at the beach lately too and I am getting lots of sun and freckles :)
The electricity has gone out 3 times in the last 4 days. Always at like 8 at night and stays out until the middle of the night.
Heather and I took our post on the swings again and talked with Mike for a bit.
This week is Holy week here. No one has school on Thursday and Friday.
Prayer requests would be for Heather and I both to continue to have the strength of the Lord, wisdom of the Lord, discernment, and purity of heart and mind. Also that no deception would enter our minds or hearts.
Prayer for others would just be that we would be the salt and light to all we encounter, never forgetting our purpose here.

Australians anyone?

So when the Canadians were here, we were greatly blessed.
It was a time of stretching and encouragement and prayer and seeing God work in great and mighty ways. And it was such an honor to be a part of their ministry opportunities. To become like family and to share hearts with one another.
And then they left and the testing began.
And I think I really failed in some areas but God's helping me out to getting things back on track and I am leaning on Him, His grace, love, and forgiveness and really trusting in Him to see me through any and all circumstances.
Saturday-Monday were tough days for Heather. Monday was when we got some laughs out of her and some shimmer of hope, that the pain was decreasing. Saturday I stayed with Heather all day except went into town for lunch with Kat.
Kat went to Trujillo and paid the rest of the money for the hospital bills.
And then Sunday was church and the beach and I went and did my thing and took care of Heather in between. I shouldn't have gone afterwards I Realized even though Heather told me to go. But we talked it out and everything is cool.
Monday night was the first night that Heather went outside of the compound.
We went into town for a walk on the beach and she was just taking it all in. Then we ate at La Estacion. It was so funny. We walked up as two Australians were walking out and we sat at our table and they were totally lingering so they could talk to us. We had some good conversation for like 10 minutes. It was so funny when they realized we were Christians. One of them was totally turned off and the other seemed to like the idea of us being Christians. And he was all like, so they actually let you out of the orphanage? And we laughed and were all like, yes, we are out of the orphanage right now, aren't we? ha ha!
After dinner we got ice cream and there was Jet peanut butter ice cream bar with chocolate on the outside and it was great!
Yesterday we played some Skip-Bo and then we ventured out in the evening for dinner at the Mexican restaurant with Steve and Mike, the two english teachers. We had really great conversation and yummy food. It was glorious.
And then we went afterwards to go to the grocery store and we ran into the Australians and two of their other friends and they waved and were like, they actually let you out again? And I laughed and was like, yeah. And told them about the Mexican restaurant and how good it is.
Then after the grocery store we went to get ice cream and came back to the surf shop for Heather to look for sweats and the Australians were in their again and they were like, so you're stalking us now? And we laughed and were like NO! ha ha! Because we definitely were not. It was all coincidental.
Heather looked around and I bought a hat in one of the other stores and then we came back.
Today is laundry day and we are going to try to spend some time with the kids later.
I miss the kids. I have not spent time with them since Thursday. On Sunday Lurdes had me sit buy her and she asked me if I was still her mom. And I said yes. But they have a new house mom now so I will not be in the house anymore I do not think. At least not as a house mom. The tides are changing once again.
Please be praying for me. I really need the strength of the Lord.

Appendicitis?

So Thursday we slept in with the intentions of getting up and spending time with the Canadians. We were so exhausted we slept later than expected and went and had lunch at the Mexican restaurant with the Canadians, then we went to the surf shop before heading back to the orphanage.
Heather, one of the Canadian ladies that I got close to and now consider family, and I had a long talk. I needed an outside perspective and it was really good to have someone who was older than me to listen and give advice and wisdom.
Then I went to be a house mom but Gladys, Antonia, and Paula were all in there and the kids were doing homework so I was really no help. Since it was the Canadians last night I wanted to spend time with them so I got off at 5 to go and have lunch with them.
But the unexpected happened.
I knocked on the door to my house because Heather had my keys and I hear these horrible sounds coming from the house. And I am like, what is going on. And Heather appears in view and is bending over and moaning and saying, I am in pain, I am in pain. And I was like, open the door so I can help you.
I went and got help because she was in severe and serious pain and the ladies thought it was appendicitis. The nearest hospital being just about 2 hours away, Fred, Heather, Kat and I head to Trujillo at 6 p.m.
Heather is is excruciating pain and it was so hard to listen too because there was nothing I could do to ease the pain. I just kept praying and trusting that it was in God's hands even though it was so ridiculous in my mind that this was happening.
I mean Heather has not even been in Peru for 2 weeks.
So anyway we get to the hospital and they do a sonogram and take blood and a pee test to rule out any infections and they find a small kidney stone in her kidney and believe she has appendicitis. So she sat in pain at the hospital for HOURS. It was ridiculous. And I was getting angry. At 12:15 in the morning she went into surgery to have her appendix removed and it was a real test of the Lord for Heather. She is a nurse in the US and so she was really freaking out about being in a foreign country. In the end, the Lord gave her peace and she really trusted God to take care of her.
The system is all messed up though. We had to buy all the supplies for the bedroom and for the operation. And of course the antibiotics and medicines and the doctors fees and normally Peru is cheaper health care but not so much here. Please be praying for God's financial provision because only God can make a way where there seems to be no way and this is definitely one of those times.
She came out of surgery around 2:30 and I stayed up with her until 4:30 and then slept a little for 3 hours. Then we were up most of the day moving about. I mean Heather wasn't moving about at first but gradually. As they were trying to charge us more and more fees we decided it best to check out of the hospital.
Maribel brought us clothes and belongings from the house with the help of Kevin and Christina, thanks to all of them. And then Brian and Frank came to visit Heather and brought her flowers and it was good to have company to keep Heather distracted from the pain she was in. And then Maggie, one of the translators for the Canada team came and talked with her for a little while.
Tomorrow will be a long day. Taking care of Heather and possibly going back to Trujillo to pay off the rest of the bill.
Thank God that His grace is sufficient and that His mercies are new every morning. He is a faithful God and I trust in His healing power, His strength and provision and that He is my strong tower and that He is Heather's healer.
Amen and Amen.
We were both pretty devastated that we did not get to say goodbye to the Canadians. We got really close to several of them, felt the love from all of them, and loved our group that we were a part of.
We came home tonight and some of them had cleaned our house for us and had left gifts for us.
What blessings they were. I have more to write about them. For another time when I am less tired.

Deborah?

Today was a trying day. In a good way.
The Canadians planned a trip to Trujillo to The Dump and to the Women's Prison.
So Heather and I went along because we are part of the group.
And it was a real day of ministry. I felt like I was in Australia again.
Going to the dump I was a little nervous about the smell because as many of you know, I do not smell through my nose pretty much ever because my sense of smell is so strong already that I do not have to be smelling through my nose to smell some things, they are just that strong. But even though the smell was horrendous, I breathed through my nose because Heather told me it was better too. And the smell was not what was so difficult for me.
It was seeing the houses made of nothing where people lived surrounded by nothing but trash. These men, women and children live and breathe trash every day and work on sorting the trash all day from like 6-6 everyday. Some do not live there but most of them do. And they choose to remain there. I think it is because of deception. They do not believe they are worthy of anything more. They do not see the beauty that Christ has placed inside of them.
Seeing the children, under the age of 5, in there with their parents, standing on so much trash and so many disgusting things. It was heartbreaking.
I felt like I should be crying. I mean my heart was broken and others were crying but I was not. I want more compassion. I feel like I used to have so much more compassion and because of things from my past, I have allowed myself to lose some of that compassion and I do not want that. So I pray God will give me eyes so I can see.
Then we went to the Pastor's land that he is currently building an orphanage on and showed us what they have so far. We prayed for him and shared in his desires and it made me think..."That could be me someday." And it was a beautiful, scary thought.
Then we went to the mall for lunch and I had Papa John's :) Enough said.
Afterwards was the women's prison.
We had to give them our passports when we went inside and they patted us down, like for real patted down.
We sang songs with them, prayed with them, handed out gifts for them, and then they sold us some of their things they had made.
When I went in, I could not help how much they just looked like us.
And I saw children there. Babies. 4 of them.
The babies of women who go to prison have to go with them to prison until they are 3. That broke my heart. Brian and I were like, why are they not in orphanages or something?
Wayne is one of the Canadians and he always asks me to interpret when he prays and it is so difficult and challenging but I am glad for it. I also was able to practice the small phrases I know in spanish that I say to my beautiful best friends, such as, Tu eres muy importante de Dios. Because these women need to know how loved and precious they are.
Afterwards we came back and had dinner at MaryAnne and Tony's. They made really great food and we had amazing fellowship and a time of worship. It was a great way to end a very emotionally draining day.
So much more to contemplate but I needed to write something before I could get any sleep..
Tomorrow is the Canadian's last day, please pray that God blesses it.

P.S. Here are some specific prayer requests that I asked of my church in Oklahoma. If you could be in prayer for these things as well, in agreement, I would appreciate it. Thanks so much...

Avis Goodhart, the founder of Go Ye Ministries, is traveling back to the States to not only go to a doctor to figure her health out, but to get funding for the ministry.
That God would send more godly men to help the ministry. Men that would be good examples to the men here who are trying to live a life for Christ but do not have good examples. And that God would use the men that are already here to make a difference.
That God would guide Heather and myself in what He would want us to do as the schedule will be changing and different opportunities will arise.
Financially the orphanage needs to make some changes but cannot afford it, so that God would provide.
Also, that God would guide me on what I am to do after Peru. I want to stay longer than a year and I am believing for a miracle that God will take care of my loans for ORU. So if you guys could believe with me, I would appreciate that.
For continued good health and God's wisdom, always.
That no deception would be inside of me.

Romancing the Stone

So I have not updated in a lifetime it seems.
Heather has been here along with the Canadians so I have been super busy. In a good way.
I have loved every minute with the Canadians. They are such great people and I have found friends in them.
Heather and I joined the team in most of the activities in the afternoon/evening every day so far. We joined a specific group that we sort of connected with.
We have done prayer walks, worship on the streets, they did a spa day, family photos, swimming with the kids, beach day, church services, lots of conversation and tomorrow is Trujillo, the dump, mall, and woman prison.
I was supposed to officially be done as a House Mother yesterday but now that will not change until April 1st.
I have been at the school in the mornings mostly, but not consistently, and then I spend time with the Canadians during my break and then work from 3-6 and then spend the rest of the evening with the Canadians.
And Heather of course. Jim calls us the twins or the sisters, because we are pretty much attached at the hip.
It has been so amazing to have her here.
She is getting settled in. It feels like she has been here a lifetime already and she has only been here since the early morning hours of the 11th technically. But we are loving every minute of it.
We did inventory today for all the things that the Canadians are donating.
Things are rapidly changing but I am liking the changes and embracing them and enjoying the company while I can.
I will have to update more soon.

Welcome Heather Belle!

So Tuesday evening at 9 Meg, Fred, Kevin and I went to Lima to send Meg off, receive Heather and Michael, along with the Canadian team and band from Lima. It was a surprise that I was going, to surprise Heather, that is why I did not write about it. But now that it is passed, I can tell you what happened.
Meg and I slept the entire time except when we were woken up at like 3 in the morning because we were so ridiculously hot! The air condition had stopped working and the windows were wet and fogged up because it was so hot and muggy in the bus. So we had to open the windows because it stopped working.
We arrived in Lima early, some time around 7 and took a long cab ride to the Oscar Hotel.
We went to find breakfast.
Afterwards we walked in the mall for like 20 minutes.
And then Meg and I went back to the hotel and took naps and watched tv shows in english.
That was my first time in 2 months to watch tv. It was nice. We went to Papa John's for a late lunch.
And it was marvelous, simply marvelous. I ate my entire pizza and two breadsticks and saved the other 4 for later.
And then we went back and watched more tv. ha ha. It was very relaxing.
We took showers at the hotel and OH MY GOSH, I had my first hot shower in 2 months and it was GLORIOUS!
Thank God for the small things in life.
I did not want to ever get out of the shower. ha ha ha!
And then we went to the airport at 10:30. We dropped Meg off at 10:30 and then waited for Heather to arrive sometime after 11:30. And then she got here around 12:30 in the morning. And then we sat in the airport until Michael arrived at 5:30 in the morning and then the Canada team arrived at 8 in the morning. Yes, we were in the airport this entire time.
We got onto our rented bus around 9 and it felt like the longest bus ride ever. I could not sleep hardly at all.
We listened to music mostly. It was so amazing to have Heather by my side.
When we arrived around 7:30 last night, they had dinner ready for everyone and the kids were all dressed nice and it was a good welcome.
Today we went back to school and it was hectic. But we got out at 10:30 so Heather and I went into town, I showed her the beach and it was a good walk. This afternoon I will be going back to work with the kids until the 15th when we have our new house moms and I will be able to be more involved with the Canada team, which I am looking forward too.
They had a time of worship last night that I joined in and it was amazing, to worship in English, I Really appreciated it.
I look forward to more of that.

Farewell Meg, You shall be missed!

SO Monday was school and then there was a birthday party for the birthdays in January and February. And then Meg, Kevin, Nelkhand and I went to La Estacion. Meg got sick, so that was really unfortunate and then we came back for the evening.
Today was school again, which was hectic I will go back to work with the kids before dinner at the Mexican Restaurant and seeing Meg off at 9.
Pray for Heather as she travels to Peru tomorrow and Pacasmayo on Thursday.
Pray for Meg as she leaves Peru to return to Canada.
And pray for me as I travel some these next couple days before Heather arrives!
Can you also be praying for me and guidance in a situation, that I will not be deceived and that I will trust in God no matter what the outcome.
He is faithful and I know that everything will work out how He wants.
I thank God for how appreciative He has made me for all the small things in life that we so often take for granted! Everything seems to be more complicated here, like every process that is simple in the US is not so simple here.
I am thankful for this opportunity to grow and be stretched in my character!

Beach Bum!

Today we had church. Then I finished my laundry and went to lunch with Kat, and Wendy sat with us and we all talked and I had my breakfast burrito, french fries, coke, and chocolate chip cookie cake for dessert. We had dessert first, so it was an ideal lunch. And then Kat and I headed back because we went to the beach with lots of people today.
We sat and talked and had ice cream twice and made a sand castle (well Meg and Brian did), and just enjoyed each other's company for 2 1/2 hours and then we went and walked on the pier. Which was my first time since being back and it is still just as scary as always. ha ha. And Aimeeta, you have to go on the pier this year!
Maybe by the time you come, I will not be so scared to go on it, ha ha. Probably not.
And then we went and walked for a little while longer before going to church again.
After church we all went and walked on the beach again and got snacks to eat and played different guessing games and took lots of random pictures and then walked back. It was an eventful, but fun and relaxing day off.
Tomorrow is school. And the regular routine starts again.
Why am I awake right now?

Karaoke Superstar

So last night was a special service at church for the youth-young adult aged people. And so I went with some of the kids from the orphanage because they asked me to go with them. I normally go every Saturday anyway so it wasn't unusual. Except that we did karaoke the whole time to spanish worship songs so it helped me learn the words. I had no intentions of getting up and singing but Daniel, the same kid from Chiclayo decided it would be a good tradition for me to sing Open the Eyes of My Heart in like I had to do at the concert in Chiclayo. So Brian and I sang the song. And then the girls wanted me to go up and sing with them so I went up to 3 other songs I think. But at least I was not alone. It wasn't so bad. I had a good time. ha ha.
And then afterwards I went back to the house because Wendy was already there hanging out with Meg and our new roommate Christina.
We had spaghetti and get this, we have mastered indoor smores! And they are yummy! And then today we are going to the beach since it is my day off and Meg's last day to really hangout with people outside of the orphanage.
Heather will be here on THURSDAY! WOOT-WOOT!

School.

Things have been busy around here lately.
School started on Wednesday. And so since the teacher who is teaching 6-8 grades is still in the US, I have been the teacher for that class everyday since then and will remain teaching them until he arrives here on the 11th. So I am at the school everyday from 7-12 and then I take my break and go to the kids house from 3-6. Yesterday we had Missionary Night in our house though and so Meg and I had to cook. Steve, one of the new English teachers, helped, along with Kevin.
We made pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast, hash browns, had assorted fruit, a variety of juices to drink and I made Chocolate Chip Cookies. Yum. It was a great success despite the hectic schedule of it all. There were 15 of us total.
And then tonight Meg, Vanessa, possibly Kat, and some of the guys are going to the fair/carnival that is going on here in town with music and food and I believe rides. So that will be fun.
A new girl came today to be the teacher. Her name is Christina.
So the fair last night..
First of all, it seems to be made for kids. Most of the rides are those big fun jump ships that you climb up and slide down and big closed-in trampolines that have giant balls that kids jump around in and kick the balls at each other and stuff. And then there are foosball tables and all the little individual things, like throw darts at balloons and get a prize. They had candy apples, cotton candy, and ice cream. And really loud Peruvian music playing, along with little bars where people were drinking under tents.
And then there was this train-like car ride around the city with music blaring and we rode on that before we left.
Today Meg and I went to the restaurant for our breakfast burritos and an American, named Daniel came in and sat with us all and we (Wendy, her mom, me, Meg, Daniel, Auden, Milagros, and Olinda) talked with him and everything. We had a good time.
Anyway, I need to go back to work but wanted to give more information on things going on around here.

Stalker?

So we have been battling internet.
So Meg got back on Saturday and we watched The Time Traveler's Wife. I watched it in theaters but it is just so sad. A really good movie though. And then I got the message from my mom about the earthquake in Chile, which I knew nothing about, and went and read the news and confirmed that everything in Peru is just fine and dandy.
And then there was the tsunami warning as a result but they called it off in Peru and we have not had any sign of a tsunami. So no worries with that. God is watching over me here and knows the plans He has for me. So I am not really concerned.
Today was my dia de libre, so I went to church and then Meg and I went to the restaurant and had yummy breakfast burritos and french fries for lunch. And then we spent basically the day at the beach. And it was lovely.
Minus the stalker dudes.
Seriously. I mean we have problems with massive staring or whistling or honking the horn but never have we had a problem with guys following us. We literally were being followed. And they would not let up. We even left the beach for a little while but as soon as we returned, there they were following us again. It was two guys.
We were getting uncomfortable so we got ahold of a friend who showed up at the perfect timing and they stopped bothering us for a while and in the end they approached us and were saying we were beautiful or something in spanish and so we left.
Evening church was good.
And now that we have internet again, we got on once we got home.
11 days and Heather will be here :)

Stalker?

So we have been battling internet.
So Meg got back on Saturday and we watched The Time Traveler's Wife. I watched it in theaters but it is just so sad. A really good movie though. And then I got the message from my mom about the earthquake in Chile, which I knew nothing about, and went and read the news and confirmed that everything in Peru is just fine and dandy.
And then there was the tsunami warning as a result but they called it off in Peru and we have not had any sign of a tsunami. So no worries with that. God is watching over me here and knows the plans He has for me. So I am not really concerned.
Today was my dia de libre, so I went to church and then Meg and I went to the restaurant and had yummy breakfast burritos and french fries for lunch. And then we spent basically the day at the beach. And it was lovely.
Minus the stalker dudes.
Seriously. I mean we have problems with massive staring or whistling or honking the horn but never have we had a problem with guys following us. We literally were being followed. And they would not let up. We even left the beach for a little while but as soon as we returned, there they were following us again. It was two guys.
We were getting uncomfortable so we got ahold of a friend who showed up at the perfect timing and they stopped bothering us for a while and in the end they approached us and were saying we were beautiful or something in spanish and so we left.
Evening church was good.
And now that we have internet again, we got on once we got home.
11 days and Heather will be here :)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

This week I have really been trying to spend more time with God.
I have been neglecting my time with Him, allowing for other things to get in the way and it has really taken its toll on me. I do not know about you but I can tell when I have not been spending enough time with God. I am just so much more drained and do not have much of the joy that comes with knowing the Lord. And that then can affect my relationships and attitudes and focus on why I am here and that is no bueno.
So since Meg has been away, I have used my time alone to spend my time with the Lord and I already feel much better. I am still tired but that is from my own lack of sleep lately. Which I intend on changing this weekend. ha ha.
I have just been doing the usual things this week with the kids, watching movies more because it is so hot outside. So not so much soccer. Although I cannot really play anyway because my leg is still not better. I mean when I am walking it is fine but even when I start jogging now it hurts. I do not really know what to do about that.
I hungout with Vanessa this week which I enjoyed because we have never hungout before and I would really like to make friends with some of the Peruvian girls. She is really sweet and I look forward to hanging out more with her.
I really do not have much to say in the life of the kids other than that I love them, regardless of how frustrated I get sometimes. The smiles on their faces and the joy in their eyes when they hug me is enough to melt any frustrations right away. I am happy that they still are excited to see me everyday and sad to see me go everyday. I hope that means that I am making a difference in their lives. I love them all so very much and only want the best for them.
I have not gotten to spend much time with the boys lately which is disappointing. They need love and attention just as much as all these girls do and so I try to make time for them. It has just been so hot that I have not wanted to be outside much. I guess I need to sacrifice a little in that area. ha ha.
Ruth Karina was sick last night and still is today so prayers for her are appreciated.
School starts next week so prayers for that as well. Pray for the school, that we have enough students to have the right income and that the teachers would really do their jobs and that wherever God wants me to help in the school aspect, He would guide me accordingly.
Meg, Avis, and the Pastors return from Lima this weekend. They have been at a conference for the week where Hillsong was. I had the option of going but really did not feel like I should go this time. I pray God worked in their lives in mighty ways.
Anyway, I need to eat lunch and enjoy my time off right now. Take care and God bless.

Weekend News

So on Friday I think it was, I got sick. Stomach problems. I slept like 8 hours during the day.
I caught up on all the sleep I was totally lacking so that was really good. But I cannot seem to kick the stomach problems, even after taking medicine. This could be a problem seeing that I do not need to lose anymore weight but cannot eat very much because of the stomach problems. So prayers in that area would be greatly appreciated.
Saturday Meg and I went to Trujillo and had Papa John's Pizza. We had a good time.
Carlos went back to be with his mother, I think he is going to be helping by getting a job.
Sunday I went to Chiclayo to visit Keila and her family. We went to the beach all day. Which was my first time really doing since being in Peru. Even the first time I was here I never stayed at the beach for more than an hour. We took lots of pictures and ate ice cream and listened to music and played cards. We went a played games at an arcade later in the evening, after I missed my bus and had to stay the night. ha. Her friend came and hungout with us for a few hours and we played more cards and took more pictures. Her mom is really sweet and loves the Lord. She is a hair dresser.
I felt like I was in Australia again, in Bree with Uncle Nose and the boys. The house was not in the middle of nowhere but the living arrangements were very similar and it made me think of you Cassidy. We had some crazy moments in Australia.
I left in the morning and have been back to my normal routine of things.
But it is hard to really get into it with these stomach problems. I just don't feel 100% myself and it is difficult.
The internet is not working at the orphanage again so I am currently at the school.
I wish I had some exciting news to tell or something.
Avis and the Pastors and Meg are in Lima for the week.
And Heather will be here in 16 days and I am beyond excited about that.
I miss everyone.

I wonder what goes through a child's head when they decide to run away. Like what are they thinking. Did they really think through what they were doing, where they were going, and who they were affecting by running away? And why run away when you have it so much better than you did before?
As a somewhat mother to these children, a friend for sure and role model, I love these kids with all my heart and it makes me sad when a kid wants to run away. I just want to protect them from all the dangers that are out there. But sometimes you cannot do that and you just have to take it to the Lord and trust Him that He knows what is best and can turn any bad circumstance to good.
Praise God for that!
As you all know, one child ranaway when I was watching them at camp and it was a traumatizing experience. And God miraculously got him home safely. Praise HIM!
Well tonight one of the girls ran away. And there are possibly many different reasons why she ran away but it was so unexpected!
I have gotten very close to her since she arrived here and received many kisses a day from her and hugs and I love you's. And when I would leave at night she would hold onto me real tight and not let go. And she will be missed.
I pray that God is with her and that tomorrow we will know she is safely somewhere, just as it was with this other kid from last week.
Please be praying for her, for her 4 brothers who currently are at the orphanage, and for her mother who is single and working to provide for them. Pray for the orphanage and the ministry as we deal with this.
And please pray for all of the children and adults here, including myself. Prayer is so much more powerful than we realize!

Sister Act

Situations with men/boys have been some of the most difficult parts of being here.
I mean in the States it was a very rare occasion that a guy showed interest in me. I had a few boyfriends but I never was really making guys look twice. So coming here where many different guys have shown interest has been more difficult.
And I feel a bit of anger because I do not know their intentions. Because my first assumption is usually negative. I mean I didn't come here to find anyone to begin with and I am not interested in anyone and do not plan on getting involved without knowing that God is okay with it. But I cannot make all my thoughts go away. I mean I just struggle with sincerity of heart when it comes to men and what their intentions are. I am so terrified of falling into deception that I have placed walls up that basically cuts short anyone's chance with me. And that is wrong I know but it is a protective instinct.
I don't know what God wants me to learn from all this. I mean I have ideas.
But God thinks much bigger than I do. And has much bigger plans for me than I do for myself.
I know God will help me sort all of this out.
Valentine's Day was good.
Church, lunch, the beach, helping at the restaurant and then playing soccer with the kids before getting on the internet and going to bed. It wasn't really like Valentine's Day. Just another Sunday off. This week some of the kids left for camp for the week. And I think Saturday I will be in Trujillo and Sunday in Chiclayo. So lots of traveling. It will be good.
I am excited about Papa John's and about seeing Keyla.
Please just pray that God will show me where He wants me in this ministry.
I need direction and clarification.
James 1:27

Slow down hold up...

So it is great to be back in town.
I have just jumped back into my normal routine and have been spending time with the kids. I actually taught the kids how to play futbol americano (our football in the states for those who don't know). I mean they are just learning passing and kicking right now but it is a start. Yhonson is already pretty good but the other kids are beginners. So that was fun.
Yesterday was the like best food day ever.
I had my usual breakfast of bread and a granola bar.
For lunch we made Meg's White Cheese & Broccolli pasta and had Morracho's with peanut butter and I did think of you girls!!
And for dinner Meg and I went out to dinner with Kevin and got some real good chicken, french fries, and ice cream cones!
What a great feeling to have a full stomach!
Tomorrow is my day off and it is Valentine's Day. So after lunch Meg and I are going to help Wendy and Auden set up for the evening and then I am going to enjoy my day off.
This week I think me, Meg, and Kevin might go to Trujillo to do some basic grocery store shopping and go to eat pizza at Papa John's! YAY!
And I am going to go to Chiclayo to spend the day with my lovely friend Keyla for her quincinera! I am excited about that.
Otherwise this weeks looking like time with the kids and all the little adventures that come with it.
I am doing great, just still very tired.

1 month today.

So I went to camp for 3 days, right?
Imagine leaving your kids in the hands of another. Sending them off to camp and then expecting them to return in 3 days. Well, I went with 6 kids from the orphanage to this camp and when I arrived, I found out that they had Confidentes that were in charge of the different groups that took care of the kids in their groups. So I wasn't able to keep an eye on the kids 100% of the time like I wanted too because they were split up into different groups. I did not want this nor did I like this but I did not know how to communicate this with them. So I just watched them as closely as I could from afar.
It was so much more different at this camp.
I mean first we rode 2 hours to the church. Then we rode 1 hour into the middle of nowhere. It was in the forest though and so it was cold and there was no sun and there was rain. Rain like in Washington rain, consistent rain.
We had a lot of worship time, like singing songs and reading scriptures aloud. There were skits and stories and some time for games. The kids were younger this time so I had no problems with guys. I was mainly with the adults the whole time and so I kept quiet mostly. I made friends with Rosa, Rosita. She is learning english so she was patient and we would talk in english and spanish. I am glad that I made a friend because yesterday we went on an extremely long hike for 3 hours and returned at 5. Everything had been fine up until then. Dinner was at 6 and at 6:30 I was informed that one of the kids from the orphanage was missing and had apparently runaway.
So I contacted Maribel and after 3 hours of searching in the dark and in the rain, we gave up.
Pretty much every 5 minutes I was overwhelmed with the desire to cry but I would not allow myself and would take that time to pray. I was constantly praying that God would take this situation and turn it for good, that He would perform a miracle because I knew He was more than capable. I mean I love those kids with all my heart. All I could think was, he only had the clothes on his back and the shoes on his feet, no money, food, nothing, in the middle of the night when it was raining. Man it was killing me but at the same time every time I got nervous or overwhelmed, I started to pray and God really came through for me. It was so hard to be somewhere that I could not talk to someone. It was driving me crazy but God's peace is such a beautiful thing!
Today we found out that this kid made it safely back to their home in Pacasmayo.
Praise God! Praise God! Praise God! And they will not be returning to the orphanage.
Maribel and Jessica came to see if I was okay and to go with us back to Pacasmayo and as soon as I saw Maribel I burst into tears. I was trying to be so strong but I knew she would understand all the emotions I was going through and she did and I didn't want her to leave my side. ha ha! And I was SO happy to return to Pacasmayo, my normalcy, my home right now.
I embraced all the girls and got a beautiful welcome home and had missionary night and ended the evening with the internet. God is good. All the time, He is good.

Having no internet is rough!

I honestly cannot remember back to what has gone on since the last time I wrote which is sad, I know.
The last time I wrote was around the 31st and all I have really been doing is working everyday and having my day off on Sunday. Meg came yesterday so that has been exciting. Like really. We went to church and then we had lunch at the restaurant and then we hungout in our house, watched a movie. We went into town to try and get me a cell phone, which is long overdue but we keep having complications. It is quite frustrating, I am not going to lie. So tonight at 7 I am getting one! Because tomorrow through Thursday I will be at a camp with like 6 girls and 1 boy from the orphanage all by myself and I want a phone to communicate with Maribel and others if need be. I am nervous about it so please keep me in your prayers!
It has been raining for the past 3 days nonstop basically. It is different than in the states, not as strong. I like it more than in the states but it knocked out our internet and I am not ok with that. ha ha. So I have had no internet since the 4th. Sorry I could not call for your birthday Mrs. Sandra.
We are actually using internet at the school because we still do not have internet at the orphanage. I do not know when we will get it. And the internet here is not strong enough to really call so it is no bueno.
But anyways, I have just been watching a lot of movies during my breaks and time off since the internet has not been working. It has been relaxing, so that is good.
I will not have internet tomorrow for three days so hopefully when I return it will be working at the orphanage again and I will be able to communicate with you all!
Thanks for the support and the love. Please keep praying for me.

Scorpions

Saturday was a good day with the kids.
Betty left the orphanage to be with her family and it was so sudden and unexpected. I cried.
But a lot of the kids were sad so I was there to comfort them. And Jenny didn't feel good so I was scratching her back and drawing words on her back. It was a good day back at Casa de Paz. I love those kids mucho!
I watched the Hannah Montana Movie during my break and just relaxed.
Then in the evening I was catching up on the internet stuff and decided to make some Ramen noodles. So I was cleaning out the pot in the sink. I used the sponge then put it down and walked to the clean water, got some and went back to the sink and there on top of the sponge that I was about to pick up was a SCORPION! Let me just tell you I screamed. And I do not scream. It freaked me out how fast it could be and that it can climb. So then I was afraid to even get near it for fear of it having some sort of jumping ability or something. I know nothing about scorpions other than that they can be deadly. So I was a bit scared. So I didn't want to get near it enough to attempt to kill it but I didn't want to let it out of my sight because if it was not dead I knew I would not get any sleep. So after doing some research on scorpions on the computer and talking with Aimee, I decided to get Kevin even though it was kinda late. So I walk out and there is Kevin walking towards his house. He had just let Sparky out so it was perfect timing. He used a knife to kill it. Thank God for Kevin.
Today I went to Huanchaco and Trujillo with Maribel, Betzabe, and Joel after church. We were supposed to go to a Marinera Dance Performance but Maria Esther was not able to get it so we went to lunch, to the beach, and then back to the house, played Uno twice and then left. I do not know how anyone can wear jeans around here or jackets. It kills me to wear an undershirt. It is ridiculous hot here. Bus rides are interesting when your window is broken. I was trying so hard not to get sick because I was so hot. But thankfully all was well and we had a good time. I took pictures and they are on facebook. There is a picture of the scorpion too. And then when we got back we ate some yummy food. I love Rico's.
And now I am about to go to bed.
Tomorrow starts a new week. Work with the kids.
Meg comes this weekend! YAY!
And I go to another camp next week with some more kids!

Camp Experience

I am back from camp. I think it was more of a conference but they call it camp.
I mean the kids do stay at the church but pretty much the whole time was speaking and worship.
So anyways, let me start from the beginning.
We left around 4:30
It was me, Betty and Irma from the orphanage. But Brian, his cousin, Daniel, and another guy traveled with Pastor Auden to Chiclayo. Pastor Auden was one of the speakers out of the 4, besides the pastor of the church. And so anyway we arrived around 6:30 and everything began at 7. Worship, speaker, dinner at 10 and then more speaking until we went to bed at 12:30.
A full day looked like, wake up at 6 in the morning, have devotion with your people in your room, worship included. At 7 or 7:30 breakfast. At 9 we broke up into our teams, 8 of them, and had a speaker for an hour and a half-ish. Then the next speaker. Then a 20 minute break, then the next speaker. Then the next speaker. And then lunch. Then we could go change or shower and return for dinner usually around 6. Then after dinner was another speaker and worship and different people did these dance performances. And then sleep again at 12:30.
There was one bathroom for like 20 girls or more, 5 minutes in the showers only. It was super hot everywhere so you would want to shower as much as possible but I didn't because the line was so long and it was annoying. But I did shower. ha ha. And they did not have water. Only bottled water which I later found out and started buying it because it was killing me. All they served was coffee and some other drink that they like here. The eating was definitely the hardest thing for me while being there and the lack of sleep. And not having water to brush my teeth. I still brushed them, I just didn't rinse my toothbrush which is gross I know but I don't want to get a parasite.
So anyways, the first night at 7 they started it off with a dance performance with the 6 flags of the countries they were representing. Or something. But either way they had an American flag. And they had 6 different girls who did these short little dances that represent that specific country. So I was waiting to see what they did for America. Oh my gosh was I embarrassed to be an American. The girl came out in a cowboy hat, flannel shirt, short shorts, and she looked like a cowgirl. And the music, oh my the music. Full out country. I was shaking my head like what the heck. But it was interesting to see their depiction of Americans. ha ha. I mean nothing against cowboys or the country at all. Because I know how to enjoy myself in the country.
So basically I was the only white person there. And I am not saying this to brag or be conceited but I was like a celebrity. Everyone wanted to know me, to talk to me, to ask me questions. And if they did not get up the nerve to talk to me, they stared at me from a distance. It was like my every move was being watched. And when I would talk in english, because they wanted me too, whoever was nearby was discretely listening. But it was VERY good practice for spanish because I was forced to speak it. That was one of the most positive things from the entire time there. I am not complaining because it was really great to meet so many new people and everything, even though they live in other cities than where I am at. I am just not used to the attention nor am I a huge fan of attention. But it was great to meet people, make new friends. Sad that I probably won't see them again though.
Basically I couldn't understand any of the speaking because they talked to fast for me but the friends that I met were kind enough to tell me the scriptures so that I knew what they were talking about in the Bible at least. So that was good. And one lady who I believe represented the United States, although she is Asian, speaks spanish fluently, knew pretty good english and when she found out I did not speak much spanish, she translated for me the first time she talked with us so it was good to understand one subject.
A girl named Queila randomly came up to me the first night and asked me my name. And from then on, she hungout with Betty, Irma, and I. I noticed this one specific guy staring at me and come to find out, it was her brother. Both her brothers ended up becoming our friends too and I hate to say this because I do not like to sound prideful or conceited but they both had some sort of crush on me. So it made for interesting company. They are really nice guys, friends only. I love that Queila. She was so much fun and so kind. She did not know any spanish but I had my dictionary and she was patient and tried communicating with me. I mean because I understand it if they speak slowly.
So Thursday night was the concert.
Well, the Pastor got up and was asking questions and giving prizes to people and then I guess he was asking something about who was from different countries than Peru because I believe someone went up from Columbia or Chile. But anyways, Daniel and Brian were all like "Estados Unidos Estados Unidos" and were pointing at me. So the Pastor asked me to go up.
Okay so those who know me well know that I do not like the attention on me. There are like 200 or more people at this concert. I go up and since he couldn't really ask me questions that I would know the answers to, he asked me to SING! And then everyone in the crowd was screaming that I should sing too and I was like OH MY GOSH NO! ha ha! I do not sing for anyone. I mean I jokingly sing and I sing in worship at church while other people are singing but not on stage and definitely not for people. But they insisted. So I made Brian come up and sing with me because they wanted me to sing a song in English and I knew he knew english. But I was standing there and I could not think of any song that I knew the words to because I was so nervous that I forgot everything. My mind was blank and I was completely embarrassed. Finally Brian said Open the Eyes of My Heart and I know that one backwards and forwards and so I agreed. And I sang it for them with Brian.
After that it was like I was a celebrity for sure. But those who know me, know I do not sing good, ha ha, so I don't know why they liked it so much. Man was that a big step to overcome.
I think the girls had fun. I hope so. I tried to make it fun but I don't know. The last day we played games. Our teams did at least. I didn't actually go and do any of the games because I could not understand the instructions. I mean I understood once I saw them doing it. But yeah. It was fun to watch. The blue team won. I was in the green team.
We left at 10 last night to return but then one of the tires messed up like 30 minutes or less into the trip and so Pastor Auden had to drive SUPER slow the whole way back. I finally went to bed at 2 a.m.
Oh and my leg is MUCH better. It's just that when I walk too fast or jog or do something more strenuous it starts to hurt so I am just going to take it easy for a while and not play any sports, even though I want too. ha ha.

Futbol

So yeah. I should probably update before I forget what has been going on...
Sunday morning was church with the new pastors. I sat with some of the girls.
And then afterwards I went back and ended up going to town to the restaurant to have lunch with Kat, Kevin, Gabi, Avis, and the new pastors. I also ended up helping at the restaurant while I was there because it got mucho busy!
Then I watched The Boys are Back with Gabi.
Then I walked some laps around the orphanage before going to church again.
I sat with some of the boys and then afterwards I went back into town to the restaurant with Gabi to hangout with Wendy for a couple hours.
Monday was the usual schedule.
I did not play any soccer. I watched the kids play various different games.
I was more relaxed. Although I did get up at 5:30 in the morning to play sports with the girls.
I ate lunch with the boys, which I had not done since I was here.
And then after I was done hanging out and helping with the girls I went to the boys house and we watched The Karate Dog and on my computer we watched an episode of Power Rangers in spanish. ha ha. Good times. I Remember watching that exact episode when I was a kid. Weird.
And today we got up and played sports and my leg sort of hurt like I just hurt it a little. So I told them I could not kick the ball with my left leg anymore. So I was just being the goal keeper this afternoon but I forgot to kick with my right leg this one time, because I can kick with both, and kicked it with my left leg and it was no bueno.
I fell to the ground immediately and basically had to crawl to the house because I could not walk. It is where my quadriceps are, because it is the front of my leg and not the back. But anyways, Wanda came and massaged my leg with some sports creme and I took some tylenol for any inflammation but otherwise I do not have ice to ice it and I do not have an Ace bandage to compress it. So when I walk I do not bend my leg except every now and again. But it hurt to sit or stand at first but since Wanda massaged it and worked out the muscle I can sit with it straight and stand with it straight without it hurting like really bad. But it still hurts really bad to bend my leg excessively. So prayers for that please.
There is a conference with many churches in Chicalayo for 3 days and the pastor is taking the youth. So I am going to be the mom for the girls the next three days. I will post when I get back.
Thanks for your support and prayers!
Sending my love to each of you!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Today was the most difficult day so far. But God's got my back, Isaiah 41:10
I am having a hard time with some adjusting. And I am frustrated with myself for not knowing more spanish to communicate more serious conversations with the kids and the house mothers. I am just a bit discouraged. I am also facing some disrespect issues. Please keep me in your prayers about wisdom, discernment, guidance, and if you have advice on being a mother, that would be nice too. ha ha! I want so badly to just love on them but discipline is important too so I know I need to be stern with them when they are doing things they should not. I think they are looking at me as more of a friend than a mother. It is an adjustment for them as much as me so that is understandable. I just want to do things right in every area so please pray that God's strength would encourage me in this difficult time.
I love these kids so much.

Today I woke up at 5:30 a.m. to play basketball and soccer with Norma, Lurdes, and Hermana Maria. We did that til 7 a.m. Then I went back to my house until 8 and then I watched the kids from 9-12:30 while Hermana Maria cooked food since Gladys was off. Then I showed Avis how to do facebook and went back to work at 3-7:15. We played soccer again for 3 hours.
No work tomorrow.

My turtles name is Ratito

Today I went to work at 8 en la manana!
And the time passed by quickly with all the clothes washing since the washer's broke and they needed to take care of their clothes. Then I went to my house from noon to 3 and just relaxed. And then I went back at 3 and we went outside and I was outside until 7:15. We played soccer for like 3 hours and it was lots of fun. I do not think I am a good athlete when it comes to soccer because I do not know all the skills of controlling the ball but I have a good time and I even get goals so yeah. ha ha!
I had a lot of fun playing soccer. If I could be the person who watched the kids outside when they played, I would do that. I love being outside with them and just getting the energy out. ha ha.
And then Kevin, me, Gerson, Paul, and Joel went to get chicken and french fries and that was good. We got dessert afterwards too and the Sublime ice cream bars are just so yummy =]
Then Gabi and I went to the store on the corner and to the school for a minute and I found out what happened to my watch from last time I was in Peru! Haha! Gabi said that Avis or Cherry found a watch and did not know who it was for so they gave it to her. She has my old watch now that was meant for Joel but it's all good because Joel has a watch and now so does Gabi! I still need one! I cannot believe I forgot to buy one before I left, ha ha ha! Oh well.
And then I came back to the room and now I am going to sleep because the girls asked me to wake up with them in the morning to play sports outside before anyone else wakes up. I think they do it for bonding and because no one else does it. But I am glad they asked me, even though it is at 5:30 in the morning, ha ha. They normally go at 4! eek!
Buenas noches!

Oh yeah and Yhonson gave me a carved turtle in stone that he got somewhere. It was really a nice gesture. SO I came up with some names and he picked the name out of the names I came up with. ha ha.
Here he is:

House Mom Blues!

I woke up feeling much better on Wednesday. I am still not better but I am MUCH better than I was! Thank God! Thank you for your prayers! I went to the girls house at noon and after lunch hermana Maria left to go to her house. Hermana Paula came and helped me from the other house but not really. I mean most all of us went outside to play. I played futbol with the kids. Because Yhonson thinks that I should be good at futbol since I am good at basketball or something like that, ha ha! No but I was a goal keeper for most of the time but not the whole time because I made two goals! Woo-Hoo! It was fun but super hot and I was wearing no shoes and then flip flops because the ground was too hot and Irma kicked the ball and it broke my nail off my toe and it was bleeding. It was no bueno. And Yhonson kicked me so hard with the ball that the imprint of the ball was on my leg and i have bruise now, ha ha. Only with Yhonson do I put up with that because he's a boy just being a boy.
But anyway, then came dinner and that is when I was alone as a House Mother.
It is a little bit difficult because some of the kids try to push the limit with me because I do not know everything that they are allowed to do and not to do. And they do not always listen to me even though I know they understand and that is frustrating when I have to repeat it over and over again. But I do not know if it is because some of them have attitude or if it is a respect issue that needs to be addressed.
But time will only tell. The older girls and I stayed up listening to music on my computer and taking photos and singing. But the younger girls would not listen to me and go to bed so they got in trouble with Hermana Gladys who is the cook and lives in that house right now. Then today we watched A Cinderella Story and Aquamarine in Spanish. And did the normal routine of things. I was by myself as a house mom all day. And it was good but I am not going to lie, I am exhausted. I love those girls.
I got off at 8:30 and have just been sitting because I am so tired.
Now it is time for bed and back to work tomorrow =]
Yhonson came back from work today with a carved stone of a turtle and he gave it to me. So now i am trying to think of a good name. I will let you know what it is. He also came back the other day with a pigeon and it made me think of you Tiffany and Petey and the good ole baseball days..
Sending my love!

Tuesday

I woke up today not feeling good. I felt like throwing up and it was no bueno.
So I talked to Avis and we decided it best for me to rest today so that I could hopefully work tomorrow since hermana Maria goes to see her family tomorrow. So they really need my help. So I went and talked with her so she knew that I would not be working.
And Avis made me some toast around 10 so that I could eat.
I slept pretty much off and on the whole day, remaining in my bed mostly.
I got up to talk to Maribel once.
And I watched a movie in my bed.
But really I have just been drinking water and eating little things here and there.
I am taking my antibiotics along with tylenol sinus and ibuprofen.
I just want to kick this fast so that I can help out.
I am not much use being sick, ha ha.
So please be praying that it goes away quickly or that i feel well enough to help!

You Won't Relent

Sunday:
I went to church at 9 a.m. and I did not understand anything that was being said but it's all good. I went up and said a few words too. I did not know what to say because I was not prepared so I kept it short and sweet, ha ha.
After church I think I attempted to take a nap and did so off and on but the loud salsa dance place that opened up next to the orphanage was blaring the music so it was hard to rest.
I think that is when Gabi and I watched She's the Man too. But I do not remember.
Sunday night I worked at the restaurant and we played cards.
Cat came and played cards too and we talked a lot. It was good.
We had a good time. A dude from Australia came in so I talked to him for a little while.
I got to come back early which was good so I could rest because I am so tired and sick.
Today I started being a house mother.
In the morning it was fine. They had breakfast and then they checked each other's hair for lice. I went to school and got Jose to get internet to work on my computer. It was a bit difficult and I was getting worried but he did not give up and he got it to work on my computer, thank God. SO I called Joanna and talked to her and posted all of my blogs. Finally. ha ha.
And when I went back to help, they were still checking each others hair and did that for several hours more. We went outside for a while too and Norma y Lurdes painted my nails a pretty purple with orange flowers. We had dinner.
And there was some girl drama. The swapping of the houses was good but I remember the drama in the dorms. So it is to be expected in a house of 21 girls. So I ended up staying for another hour longer than usual while things were sorted out.
Please be praying for peace in the houses.
I am so tired. Things are going well. It is different but I love the kids the same, if not more.

Lots of reading..

Friday. What did I do? I woke up and met the new pastors. I went to help at the restaurant, which was a little slow so we played Skip Bo. Cat came. She is a Peace Corps worker in Peru. The Quesadilla Ranchera is mi favorita! I have not tried anything else, ha ha, but it is soooo good. Then in the afternoon I spent some time with the kids outside and then we ate dinner and hungout a little bit before they began the process of changing houses. Boys in one house, girls in another. Smart decision. I then went to the restaurant, which ended up being an adventure because they were relying on my directions, which as we all know, are a little bit off. Ha ha! I had only been once. Milagros and I walked there and then we got a car ride back a different way, so I did not have much to go off of. But I got us almost all the way there, just one street over. And I knew which direction to go. So it ended well. It was a little bit busy so I played with Keilee who is Wendy and Auden’s baby. She is almost 2 years old. I watched her for a while before following Felix around to watch him serve customers since I am helping them out.
Then today, Saturday I went to Yhonson, Gerson, Joel, and Paul’s soccer games. Gerson was the goal keeper in the first game and they won. Gerson was the goal keeper in the second game with Paul and Joel and they lost. And Yhonson played a game and they lost. But they were all very close scores and these boys are pretty good. It was good. Crazy story. Some kid threw a rock and it bounced off the ceiling of the thing we were sitting under and it hit Kevin square in the head. No bueno. Very dangerous. But he is okay. I told him to let someone know if he felt weird at all in case he had a concussion or something.
Then Gabi and I watched She’s the Man.
And then I went to the restaurant. It was really slow so we played Skip Bo. It was me, Milagros, Norma, Felix, and Cat. And then Cat left and a bunch of people from church came and I watched Keilee while they took care of everything.
I am absolutely exhausted and going to bed. I am sick with sinus, cough, stuff and it is annoying. Church at 9 a.m. so I am off.