Stateside

I never thought I would be back in the United States right now.
Peru was the adventure of a lifetime and I know that it is not over, I will return one day soon and embrace the ones I love dearly. Those who have forever changed my life and put imprints on my very heart.
The kids at Casa de Paz are like a part of me. I hate the fact that when I return, some of them could be gone forever. I hate that I cannot talk to them on a daily basis and love on them the way that I used too.
And what I hate most is that I should have loved on them more when I was in Peru.
There was so much more that I could have done that I did not and that saddens my heart.
It is so hard to be a missionary.
It is so hard to live a life when so many people put such huge expectations for you that you just feel like you cannot fill.
I hate that people gossip and spread rumors that could totally shatter your reputation.
Everything you built could be gone in one day, one moment.
We should to sacrifice certain things in life and I never wanted to sacrifice the kids.
I would rather sacrifice myself.
Being a House Mother was one of the hardest things I ever did. So physically draining and emotionally rough. But those kids needed someone to take care of them and to love on them and so Heather and I did that to the best of our abilities. We have never been mothers before so we took on a great challenge but I know neither of us would ever had said no, because we wanted those kids in good hands.
The House Mothers that are there now are such amazing women. Women of sacrifice. Women of selfless faith.
The Director of the orphanage is a true blessing. She loves those kids. Truly loves them.
Each one of those kids have unique personalities, their own quirks. They are each affected differently. They are each special to me and to the Lord.
More to come..